Early in 2023, I photographed a client who had told me about a moderate weight loss that she had recently had, but what she said next was what impacted me the most: she said she was finally able to shut down the voice in her head that was always telling her she was hungry.
Something you may not know about me: I’ve had an eating disorder my entire life. I’ve been on every diet imaginable since I was 18 years old. I’ve lost weight, and I’ve gained it all back multiple times. I had weekly counseling sessions to help with my eating disorder for years. I’ve read countless books. About a decade ago I took an entire 3 months off from my corporate job to attend an intensive eating disorder clinic. I was at the point where I felt like I had tried everything, and my eating disorder just kept winning. Nothing worked to quiet the eating disorder voice in my head.
*I would wake up thinking about food.
*I would overeat because I would be worried about getting hungry later.
*I couldn’t eat just one piece of pizza, I had to eat half the pizza. I couldn’t tell when I was full because I couldn’t feel in my body.
*I was constantly sick from overeating, but I did it over and over again.
*When I got hungry, it quickly went to hangry, and I wanted to do everything I could to avoid that feeling and the way I could act when I was hungry.
*I would eat sweets throughout the day to numb my feelings. I had to end every day with a large bowl of ice cream.
*My blood sugar was of course completely out of control. I was pre-diabetic and on a high dose of medication.
*Food was on my mind all of the time.
^^^That was what was going on in my mind EVERY SINGLE DAY ALL DAY LONG.
I desperately wanted to stop this voice, BUT I JUST COULDN’T DO IT.
And then the client I mentioned earlier told me about a weight loss injectable that she had been taking called Mounjaro (tirzepatide). She described her own disordered eating and inner voice and it was exactly what I had been experiencing. She told me she could eat just one piece of pizza and she would be full for hours. She didn’t constantly think about food anymore.
And I knew I had to try it.
So in April 2023, I did just that. After a consultation with my doctor, I began injecting myself once a week with Mounjaro.
So what is Mounjaro? Mounjaro is the brand name for the GIP/GLP-1 injectable Tirzepatide. Currently, there are various forms of the injectable, and another you have likely heard of is Semaglutide (brands Ozempic and Wegovy). There are others as well, but as of now, these are the most popular. They work similarly, but are all slightly different and have different FDA approvals. I’m not going to spend a lot of time writing about this; if you decide that this is something you want to look into more, please do your research, consult your doctor, and also look into weight loss clinics that are administering the semaglutide and tirzepatide shots (I am happy to refer you to a clinic that a friend owns).
On Wednesday evenings, I grab one of my pre-filled injectable pens out of the refrigerator, and give myself the shot in my abdomen. I feel a small prick, but it is so quick and painless that sometimes I don’t even realize that the shot is over. It literally takes about 3 seconds.
Almost right from the start, I noticed a difference in the way I was interacting with food. I didn’t feel hungry all of the time. That voice was not constantly chattering away in my head as it had always been. I could feel and listen to my hunger cues, and I wasn’t as hungry all of the time. I could eat less and feel full. I didn’t need sweets all the time. I didn’t worry about when my next meal would be. For me, it was truly a miracle. For 46 years I had been trying to quiet that voice, and I finally had something to help me with it.
Nothing is perfect though. There are lots of side effects of Mounjaro, including nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain, indigestion, constipation, and decreased appetite. And unfortunately, I’ve had all of these side effects to the extreme. Some days I can hardly eat at all. There have been days where I can hardly function due to nausea. After a year, the side effects are less, but I still struggle with at least one every day. You might ask, is it worth it? I’ve asked myself that same thing many times. And the answer FOR ME is always yes. The improvement in my mental health and the quieting of the eating disorder voices is worth the physical discomfort I have. This is my personal choice.
I’ve been so hesitant to share about this journey because for me it truly is not a weight loss journey at all, it is a mental health journey. But no one can physically see the tremendous transformation that has taken place inside my head; what others can see is the difference that shows in my body size.
Please reach out if you have any questions or comments about what I have shared this week.
Next week, I’ll share more about my feelings around my body and weight loss.
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From the National Eating Disorders Association website:
Are you concerned that you might be struggling with an eating disorder? Learn more at: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help/
Are you looking for an eating disorder treatment provider in your area or online? Visit: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help/
Are you looking to speak with someone about eating disorders concerns for yourself or a loved one? Please call our partner organizations’ Helplines:
- ANAD Helpline: 1 (888) 375-7767
Monday-Friday, 9am-9pm CT - National Alliance for Eating Disorders Helpline: 1 (866) 662-1235
Monday-Friday, 9am-7pm ET - Diabulimia Helpline: 1 (425) 985-3635
F.E.A.S.T provides support and education resources to parents and caregivers of loved ones impacted by eating disorders.
If you are in crisis, call or text Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988 [Spanish speaking services and for Deaf & Hard of Hearing]
or text Crisis Text Line: “HOME” to 741-741. [Spanish speaking services]